


Killing with Kindness

by SingingInTheRaiin



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, F/F, Gen, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Martin loves Jon, Season 3 Fix it, Sharing a Bed, more entities than Smirke knew about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22997578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingInTheRaiin/pseuds/SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: It turns out that Gerry was wrong when he said that there were no entities for the good things.aka Martin saves everyone with the power of Love.
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 24
Kudos: 221





	Killing with Kindness

When Jon was eight years old, his grandmother had a very good reason for sending him off to therapy. That didn’t mean he had to like it, though. 

Jon arched one eyebrow as he looked at the woman sitting in front of him. She was dressed far too casually for a supposed professional, in just a pair of denims and a button up flannel, and her hair was cut as short as a boy’s. “Are you really a licensed therapist?”

She smiled, but didn’t laugh at him. “I really am, I promise. Would it make you feel better if I showed you my degree?”

Jon gave her a long look, and then shook his head. “No.” Then he leaned back in his seat, and stared at her, waiting for her to break and talk first.

Apparently she didn’t realize that this was supposed to be a contest of wills, though, because she didn’t seem to have any problem with filling the silence. “Do you know why your grandmother wants you to talk to me?”

Jon thought of Billy being dragged through a door by giant spider legs, and had to make a physical effort not to shudder. “I could take a guess,” he mumbled. 

There was a moment of silence, and then she offered him a sympathetic little smile. “I’m Jess, by the way. And I want to tell you right now that nobody thinks you’re crazy or nuts or anything like that.”

Jon thought about his grandmother’s reaction when he’d come home babbling about what he’d seen, and decided that this Jess was either lying to protect his feelings, or hadn’t talked long enough with Jon’s grandmother yet. “I know I’m not crazy. And- and I know that I just imagined it all.” He hadn’t- he knew that it had been so, so terrifyingly real, but he also knew that he didn’t want to get locked away, so it was best to just insist that he knew it hadn’t been real. 

The odd thing was the way that Jess tipped her head to the side to stare at him like she was trying to look right into his soul (not that Jon really believed in such things). “I don’t think you imagined it at all,” she finally told him. Not in the kind of condescending voice that most people used when talking with kids, but as an actual, genuine statement. She said it like she had no reason to believe that it wasn’t one-hundred percent true. It didn’t sound like she was trying to entrap him into telling the truth, and Jon didn’t know how to react to that. 

Surely she must have seen the confusion on Jon’s face, since he wasn’t exactly trying to hide it, but she just continued to smile at him, and waited patiently for him to speak. Jon cleared his throat a couple of times. “You- why- I don’t understand,” and boy was that something he hated to admit. “Everyone else has made it pretty clear that I had to have been making it up. There’s no such thing as giant spider monsters that creep out of books to eat bullies.”

Jess shrugged. “Everyone else is wrong, then. And I think that at least some of them must know that there are monsters out there, but are too afraid to say they’ve ever seen once. Believe me, it’s a lot more common for people to have those kinds of encounters than you’d think.”

Jon frowned as he tried to think of anyone else who seemed like they had seen a giant monster spider, though he couldn’t imagine that anyone would be able to see more than a couple of legs and still survive. “If it’s so common, then why does everyone think it’s fake? Books about monsters are always fiction.”

“I said it’s more common than you’d think, not that it’s common.”

Jon’s eyes widened as he stared at her. “Wait, are you saying that you…?”

Her smile shifted into something more mischievous, but still honest. “There are a lot of monsters out there.”

The idea that there were other people who’d seen monsters wasn’t really something that had occurred to Jon. Then again, Mr. Spider’s book had come from a library that cared enough to put fancy emblems inside the covers. What if there was an entire library of monster books? 

Jon wasn’t even aware that he’d started trembling all over until Jess reached out to gently place her hand on his arm. “Jon, I’m not telling you this to frighten you. I’m telling you because you deserve to know that you aren’t alone. There are others who have been through similar traumas and tragedies. And…” she trailed off for a moment, and it looked like she was really torn about whether she should continue or not. “And I promise you that for all that there may be monsters in the world, there are other things, too.”

“What kinds of things?” 

She sighed. “Things that are good; things that want to protect the world from all its fears. There’s less of them, but they are much more powerful than any amount of fear could be. Just- just don’t forget that, alright?”

The next time Jon showed up for a therapy session, he was told that there was no Jess employed there, and he hoped that she was one of the good things.

,,,

Jon shuffled through a stack of file folders on his desk, intently searching for a statement that seemed like it needed to be read. He was so distracted by what he was doing that he didn’t even notice he wasn’t alone until he heard the sound of someone knocking against his open office door.

Jon leapt back, and then forced himself to relax when he saw that it was just Martin standing there. “What- what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

Martin blinked a couple of times, and then gave Jon a tired smile. “I could be asking you the same thing, you know.” Then he held up his hands, each of which was occupied with a cup of tea. “I saw the light on in here, and figured you could use a bit of caffeine.”

It would have been easy enough to just tell Martin to put the tea on the desk and go away. But when he took a moment to think about how he felt, he knew that he was not only unbearably exhausted, but also entirely too lonely. So he sank down into his seat, and nodded for Martin to take the chair on the other side of the desk. “May as well take a break,” he tried to excuse. 

He wasn’t sure if Martin could see through him or not, but his smile grew just a little bit bigger, and he did sit down across from Jon. He gently pushed one of the mugs closer to Jon’s side of the desk. They drank their tea in silence for a few minutes, and then Martin cleared his throat to get Jon’s attention. “You, uh, you haven’t been around in a while.”

It wasn’t a question, but Jon felt like he was supposed to answer anyways. “I’ve been busy,” he said in a mild tone even as he reached down to press gently against the gauze still wrapped around his burned hand. “And I don’t exactly- I mean it doesn’t seem like I’m welcome here.”

“Of course you are!” Martin immediately insisted. “Tim and Melanie are a bit- but that’s not your fault. I’m sure they know that none of this is your fault. Deep down. Er, way deep down. Anyways, it doesn’t look like- that is to say- it seems like you’re not really safe where you’re staying? Not that it’s any of my business, of course, but I just-”

Jon held up his uninjured hand. “Certain things I don’t think I’d be safe from anywhere. It’s not that I don’t want to be here. I don’t think there’s a single part of me that doesn’t crave to be in this building, surrounded by knowledge and eyes. But I can’t just- I mean, there’s a lot that I still have to- Christ!” He reached up to press his hand over his eyes, shoving his glasses up to his forehead in the process. “Why am I so fantastically awful at talking?”

The only reason Jon bothered to pull his hand away was because he heard what seemed to be a soft giggle. Though that was impossible, of course, because he couldn’t think of a single reason that anyone would have to laugh in this place, but… As his glasses dropped back down onto his nose, he found himself staring at Martin as the other man laughed louder. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, which only seemed to fuel Martin’s mirth. “Honestly, Jon. We’re under constant threat of being attacked by terrifying monsters that shouldn’t even exist outside of nightmares, and you’re concerned that you aren’t good enough at talking?”

Jon tried to pout, but found the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered. He had to make an active effort not to start laughing along with Martin. He just sat there and let Martin get it all out of his system before he bothered speaking again. “How can you possibly be so…” he gestured to Martin in what he hoped was an explanatory way. “at a time like this?”

Martin shrugged. “Not to be a pessimist, but bad stuff is happening literally all the time. Who’s to say that there’s ever a good time to laugh? Or to put it in other words: why not laugh at a time like this?”

Jon just stared for a moment, and then slumped back against his seat. “Huh. That actually kind of made sense, in a weird way.” They both just sat there for a few more minutes, and then Martin shifted around like he was preparing to get up. Jon cleared his throat. “Wait, I uh-” he tugged open one of the desk drawers to dig through a small stack of tapes. He just Knew that the one he was looking for would be there. He pulled it free, wincing slightly at the clatter that came from the other tapes falling around inside the drawer, and then held it out to Martin. “I know it won’t make much difference, but I- I want you to listen to this.” 

For a couple of seconds, it seemed like Martin was just going to leave Jon’s awkwardly extended hand dangling there, but then he reached out and took the tape from Jon. “Alright.” He didn’t just shove it into his pocket, but instead held it close to his chest, like it was something important. “We should both probably try and get some sleep. I’ll- will I see you in the morning?”

Jon looked down at himself. He was still wearing some clothes he’d borrowed from Georgie, and he hadn’t slept, eaten, or showered in far longer than he should have. He was a complete mess, and by all accounts, Martin should not sound so hopeful at the idea of seeing Jon again in the morning. 

He should have just said that he wasn’t ready to come back, or that he didn’t want to upset Tim and Melanie, or that the Admiral would miss him too much, or something. But instead- “Yeah, see you then.” 

Martin looked as surprised as Jon felt, but there was such warmth in his eyes as he nodded. “Good night, Jon.” Then he turned and left the office, and Jon could only stare after him. 

It wasn’t until he got back to Georgie’s flat that he realized he’d never even grabbed a statement to bring with him.

,,,

The first time Martin had gone to visit his mum in the home he’d set her up in, things hadn’t gone well at all. After having a plastic orange juice cup thrown at his head, Martin decided that it was time to take off. He would have gone over to give his mum a little kiss on the forehead before he left, but the puddle of juice on the floor was too daunting to cross. “I’ll be back next week,” he promised her. “But of course you can call me if you need anything.”

“As if I’d want anything from you,” she sneered. “You’re not even a last resort, because you can’t ever do anything right.”

Martin took a deep breath in, then slowly let it out. “Right. I- I love you mum.” Then he hurried away, and tried to convince himself that he wasn’t being cowardly for fleeing. He was in such a rush that he didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings, and ended up colliding spectacularly with one of the nurses. They both ended up sprawled on the floor, but Martin scrambled back to his feet and then held his hand out to the poor nurse. “I am so, so sorry.”

She accepted his help up, and then brushed down to make sure that her shirt was not awkwardly wrinkled up. “It’s alright, really. You look pretty upset. Do you want to talk about it?”

Even if the thought of spilling his guts to a complete stranger wasn’t absolutely terrifying, Martin still wouldn’t want to bother a kind stranger with his life story. So he gave a light shake of his head. “No, it’s- it’s alright. I was just- my mother just moved in here and I wanted to make sure she settled in okay.”

The nurse tilted her head to the side. “Oh, you must mean Mrs. Blackwood. She’s certainly a character. I’m Mimi, by the way.” She stuck her hand out, and Martin automatically shook it. “Sorry that things are so tough. But hey, if you change your mind about needing to talk, here.” She kept hold of Martin’s hand as she flipped it palm side up, and then pulled a marker out of her pocket. She wrote what was presumably her number across his skin, and then gave him a warm smile. “It was so lovely to meet you, Martin. You have a beautiful soul.” Then she turned and walked away, leaving Martin to just stare after her as he wondered what had just happened.

,,,

Martin could tell that it made Jon uncomfortable to spend much time in the Institute, and if he was being honest, he couldn’t at all blame the man for feeling that way. If he had somewhere else he felt safe, Martin would probably never show up to work either. 

But he just wished that he didn’t have to see Jon look so utterly exhausted every morning. Even like this, though, seeing Jon made Martin’s heart beat faster. He didn’t bother dressing up, wearing the same couple pairs of sweats and t-shirts, and his hair was usually a knotty mess tied up in a sloppy bun on top of his head, fully showing off all of the worm scars that were on his face. Nobody could deny that Jon was a mess, but Martin couldn’t help thinking that Jon was still one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen before. Beautiful, but far too tired.

As Jon stumbled over the leg of his own desk, Martin knew he needed to intervene. Jon probably wouldn’t even be here at all if Martin hadn’t pressured him into it the other night, so that meant it was Martin’s responsibility to make sure that Jon was alright.

He hurried into the office to help steady Jon. “You need to go home and get some sleep,” he said firmly.

Jon gave Martin a long look. “I don’t need you to take care of me, you know.”

If Jon had said that a year ago, Martin was sure that it would hurt much worse than intended, and would only remind him that he was helpless to do anything but force his aid onto the people he cared about most, but who would never care about him back.

Somewhere along the way, though, Martin had started to figure out Jon a little bit better. He realized that Jon didn’t mean it as an insult, and that he wasn’t trying to push Martin away because he couldn’t stand to be touched by him. When Jon said it, it meant that Jon thought he didn’t need anyone to take care of him, either because he didn’t deserve it, or because he thought he did a good enough job on his own. Obviously both of those were false.

Martin just gave Jon the most cheerful grin that he could manage. “I know.” And Jon didn’t even try to fight it as Martin took most of his weight to help him up the basement stairs, and then out of the Institute. 

The proper thing to do would be to get Jon into a cab, and then go back to his own work. He might have supernaturally enforced job security, but that didn’t mean he should start slacking. 

But somehow his body didn’t seem to be in tune with his mind, because he found himself getting into the cab alongside Jon. Jon gave him an unreadable expression, and then cleared his throat as he rattled off an address. Martin knew that it wasn’t the address of Jon’s flat, and wondered where they were going.

He followed Jon into a nice looking building, and they took the lift up to the fourth floor. They went down the hallway, and then Jon pulled out keys to unlock a door. They went into a rather nice looking flat. “Is this yours? Did you get a new place?”

Jon shook his head. “It’s Georgie’s. She’s an old friend, and she said that I could stay for a while.” He flopped down onto the couch that was in front of them, and then peered up at Martin from underneath the fringe of hair that had slipped loose. “Why are you here?”

Martin blinked a few times as he tried to think of an appropriate answer to that question. “I- I just-” 

Luckily, he was saved by the bell. Or in this case, the knock. Jon heaved himself back up, even though it seemed like it took all his energy just to get to his feet, and then shuffled over to the door. “Who is it?”

There was only a brief pause before a muffled answer came through. “The name’s Jess. I don’t know if you remember me, but I-”

Jon cut her off by unlocking the door and swinging it open. He stared at her in disbelief, and Martin wondered who it was. She must be someone important to know to look for Jon here, and Martin wasn’t sure why that made his stomach feel strange when he thought about it. “What are you-? How are you-? How did you-?”

She laughed softly. “Are you at least going to invite me in before you start the interrogation?”

Jon looked like he needed to seriously think about the answer for a few seconds before he took a couple of steps back so that Jess could walk inside the flat. She was pretty, though Martin couldn’t really name any specific trait that made him think that. He just knew that she was a pretty person. 

Jess walked over to the couch, and then slowly sat down on it, primly perched on the edge. “I know that I probably should have come sooner, but I didn’t think you’d believe me if I tried to explain anything about our world to you. And honestly, I had no reason to think that you would be in so much danger so soon. Not with Magnus watching over you.”

Jon frowned, and sat down in the chair next to the couch. Martin hovered awkwardly nearby, since he didn’t really want to sit next to the stranger on the couch, but he also didn’t see anywhere else to sit down. “You know that the Magnus Institute is connected to the Eye,” he said flatly.

She shrugged one shoulder. “Yes and no. It’s not as though it’s something that I’ve known about for years. I didn’t think of looking into it until I realized how much trouble was going on there. And when I realized that you were the new Archivist, I was able to put a few pieces together.” She glanced over at Martin, and then patted the empty seat next to her. “Please, don’t stand around on my account.” 

Martin hesitated, but he didn’t see Jon sending out any signals that he shouldn’t trust this woman, so he sat down next to her. Though he did carefully leave a couple inches of space between them. There was a fine line between being trusting and being foolish. 

“You know about the entities,” Jon said, and again, it wasn’t a question. 

Jess nodded. “Yup. All fourteen of them, if you go by Smirke, or fifteen if you go by Smirke plus a potential new one. Or twelve if you go by the zodiac, or fifty-seven if you go by the rarely referenced Empterton.”

Martin gave Jon a confused look, and saw that Jon looked to be just as confused. “I- I didn’t realize that there were so many different interpretations.”

“In the end, they’re all the same. Whether you think of all fear as a single entity, or a thousand different ones, the effect it has on us doesn’t change.” She paused for a moment, and then gave Jon an almost amused smile. “Go on. I know that you want to ask.”

Jon tipped his head in acknowledgement. “Gerard Keay said that there are no entities of ‘good’ emotions. But you said…” he trailed off as he looked at her. “What’s the opposite of fear?”

“Emotions don’t have opposites. There is no happy versus sad the way we’re taught as children. All emotions lie on a spectrum far too interlocked and blended together to fully separate them. Like colors, or-”

“Fears,” Jon finished softly. 

Martin hoped his neck wasn’t going to get sore from looking back and forth between Jon and Jess. “Exactly,” she told him proudly. “Anyways, the fears might think that they’re strongest, but there are other entities out there. Smirke and his contemporaries never bothered to look into them. I guess there’s nothing cool or occult about people being happy and safe. If you go by Smirke’s rule of fourteen fears, then it makes the most sense to also go by the rule of three for the others. There’s no real name for them as a collective, but they are still entities. Love, Altruism, and Hope. I suppose they must all have other names as well, just as the fears do, but that’s what I call them.”

Martin couldn’t help feeling somewhat bitter at the idea of these three entities that were supposedly good. Where were they when the fears were causing so much tragedy? “So are you supposed to fight against the fears, then?”

Jess looked surprised by the question. Or maybe she was just surprised that Martin had been the one to ask it. She looked like she’d forgotten he was even sitting there next to her. She turned to give him a thoughtful look before she answered him. “No, not exactly. This isn’t some kind of comic book with superheroes and supervillains. If my patron has some specific purpose to their existence, I’ve certainly never been let in on it.”

Jon hummed under his breath as he processed that. “Which one do you serve?”

“Hope,” she said softly. “It’s never been an easy life, but I am content with it.”

“So then I’m assuming that these… non-fears also exist outside of our universe? Do you think that there are any Leitners that belong to a non-fear?”

Martin couldn’t help interjecting at that point. “I’m sorry, but we’re not really going to just call them non-fears, are we? That’s a terrible name.”

Jon gave Martin a look of disbelief. “Is that really what we’re going to focus on right now?”

Once again, Martin was saved from having to answer. This time it was by a door within the flat opening up. “Jon? Is that you out there?” A woman, presumably the Georgie that Jon had mentioned, walked into the room, and she looked first at Jon, then at Martin and Jess. “You didn’t tell me you were going to have friends over.”

Jon immediately got to his feet. “We can just-”

She waved her hand. “Nah, it’s alright. As long as no one here is planning on doing anything weird or creepy, we’re good. Then she headed towards the kitchen, and called back over her shoulder, “Anyone want some tea?”

Jess slowly stood up. “I’m not sure that there’s really much else I can tell you. Entities other than fear exist, and I work for one of them. I don’t know how much help I can offer you when it comes to your current battles, but if you think of something you need from me-”

“What can you do?” Jon asked quietly. “I mean, the other avatars that we’ve encountered have all had some kind of ability or power. Even I’ve got my Archivist privileges. So what are the benefits of working for the non- for the good things?” 

Jess had started towards the front door, but paused and turned to look at Jon when he’d finished talking. “I can tell when someone’s got a secret eating them up inside, but I don’t automatically know what it is. I know, it’s not exactly useful in a fight.”

“When I was a kid, you managed to either make everyone in that office forget about you, or you got in and out without anybody noticing,” Jon pointed out in an almost accusing voice. Martin had no idea what incident was being referenced, but he made a mental note to ask for clarification about it later. 

Jess didn’t seem to be bothered by the sudden hardness in Jon’s voice. “Honestly, if you just make it look like you’re supposed to be somewhere, it’s shockingly easy to get around without being noticed. Your proper therapist really was sick that day, but she forgot to call your grandmother about it, so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. I just thought that you’d benefit from being able to talk to someone who actually believed you.”

Jon nodded. “It did help, actually. I suppose that means I should be thanking you.” 

Jess laughed. “I’m pretty sure that statement right there is the closest I’ll get. But don’t worry, I didn’t do it to earn your gratitude. I just wanted to help. Take care of yourself, Jon. We’ll be seeing each other again at some point.” Then she opened the front door and left.

She closed the door behind her, and then Georgie walked in carrying a tray with four mugs on it. “Oh, where did the other one go?”

“She was afraid that she’d be too weird and creepy,” Jon informed her in a solemn voice. It took a few seconds for Martin to realize that Jon was teasing, though Georgie seemed to understand that right away. 

Georgie set the tray down on the coffee table. “Well are you at least going to introduce me to this one?”

Martin stuck his hand out. “Martin Blackwood.” Politeness seemed to mostly just be a reflex for him. 

Georgie shook his hand. “Martin, huh? Now that’s a name I’ve heard tossed around quite a bit these past few days.”

When Martin glanced over at Jon questioningly, he noticed the way that Jon’s cheeks got darker. Was he blushing? Was he embarrassed that he’d talked about Martin to his roommate? What had he been saying that would embarrass him? 

Jon quickly walked over to tug at Martin’s elbow so his hand slipped away from Georgie’s. “As much as we’d love to stick around for tea, we have to get going.”

Georgie put her hands on her hips and gave them both a no-nonsense look. “Really. You came home in the middle of the day and then you have to leave the second I’m done with my recording? Now why don’t I believe that?”

Martin cleared his throat to draw the attention back to him. “Well, I have to get going, anyways. I only brought Jon home because it seems like he could really use some good sleep. I should be getting back to work though. It was nice meeting you!” Then he was not ashamed to say that he bolted.

He didn’t get any work done for the rest of the day, though, because he just kept looking down at his arm like he could still feel the warm contact of Jon’s fingers wrapped around it. Damn, Martin had some serious issues, didn’t he.

,,,

Jon gave Elias an annoyed look. “Seriously? You called me into your office for this?” The ‘this’ in question being a basket of high-end chocolate that sat on the desk between them like some kind of time bomb.

Elias just gave Jon one of his typical empty smiles. “I do believe in rewarding productivity. And besides, you earned it when you won the ‘Employee of the Year’ award.”

Jon narrowed his eyes. “That’s definitely not a real thing.” For one thing, nobody in their right mind would vote for the person accused of murder. And for another thing, there had never been any kind of top employee awards in the past. “If you think I’m going to accept this-”

Elias scoffed. “Honestly, Jon, you have no reason to act so suspicious of me. It’s not as though I’d poison you when I still need you to fulfill your job requirements. Is it really so hard to believe that I just want you to have something nice for once?”

Now that was too ridiculous of a question to even deserve an answer, so Jon just crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat. “If there’s nothing else…?”

He thought that Elias might try to argue with him, but he just sighed. “No, that was all.”

That seemed to be as good as a dismissal, so Jon got up and left the office, not bothering to bring the gift basket along with him. No matter how much Elias might claim that he needed Jon alive for his evil plans, that didn’t mean that Jon had to trust him. And just because he didn’t think Elias wouldn’t outright poison him didn’t mean he could trust the man. What a sad world it was when someone couldn’t even trust their own boss. 

Trying to wipe that disturbing encounter out of his mind, Jon hurried down to the basement, and went straight to his office. He could see the top of Tim’s hair over in the bullpen, and Jon definitely didn’t need to deal with Tim right after Elias. There was only so much that Jon could handle in a single day.

Jon was only alone in his office for a couple of minutes before there was a light knock on the door, and then it opened before he could call out anything. Martin walked in with a steaming mug of tea. “Thought you could use this. Nobody deserves to have a one on one meeting with Elias. What did he want, anyways?”

“To name me the employee of the year.”

He could see the way that Martin tried not to laugh, and it made him struggle to keep in his own amusement at the idea. He did manage to contain it, though, for the sake of professionalism. Before he could say something terribly clever that would make Martin laugh while he pretended he didn’t know why it was funny, he heard a grating voice calling out to him. “Hey Sims, someone’s here to give their statement!”

Jon frowned as he peered out the open doorway. “And why can’t you take it?”

Tim snorted, and didn’t respond. A few moments later, a woman stepped into the office and cleared her throat. Jon didn’t even bother to apologize for the state of the place. “Hello, I’m Mimi Weatherby.” She turned to look at Martin, who was just standing there awkwardly. “I don’t know what your colleague meant by a statement, but I came to speak with you. I tried calling, but you didn’t answer.”

Jon watched Martin closely, and noticed the way his eyes widened in alarm. “Is my mother alright?”

Mimi’s smile drooped, and she clasped her hands in front of her. “She’s ben getting worse,” the woman said in a gentle voice. “We’re not sure how much time she has left.”

Martin turned to look at Jon. “Sorry, I should- Mimi is a nurse at the home my mum is in.”

Jon’s eyes flicked over to Mimi, and he Knew that she was no ordinary nurse. “Actually Martin-”

She held up her hand, though, so Jon cut himself off. There were other avatars who weren’t inherently a danger, so if this one wanted to explain things on her own time, Jon didn’t see any reason that he should try to stop her. Martin looked confused as Mimi let out a soft sigh. “I know you had mentioned in passing at one point that you’d gotten a job here, but I had no idea what this place was until I stepped inside for the first time. Please tell me that you do understand what it is you work for?”

Realization slowly washed over Martin’s features. “You know about the fears.”

Mimi didn’t bother trying to deny it. “Yes. But I don’t work for any of them. Not that I’m saying everyone who does is necessarily evil, but- Well, I work for Altruism.”

As Martin processed that, Jon’s curiosity was already going ahead full speed. “And what kind of power do you get?”

“Well, I’m not sure that I’d call it a power. In fact, I think my life would be much better off without it. But I can feel the pain, both physical and emotional, of everyone around me.”

Martin gave her a worried look. “And you work in a nursing home?”

Jon laughed. “I suppose that’s the altruistic part, then.” When Mimi just shrugged, Jon frowned. “Why is it that we have hundreds of statements here from people who were terrified by various entities, but not a single one about- about your kind?”

“I suppose that if a supernatural thing happened that was a good thing, there wouldn’t be much of a reason to report it and try to look into it, would there? I think most people who encounter my sort prefer to think of it as a miracle and then move on with their lives.” 

“Do you feel it’s unfair that there are so many more fears than good things?”

Mimi smiled. “No. There’s no reason to be worried, because in the end, the good things are always stronger, even if there’s less entities and less people working for them.” It seemed hard to believe that, considering how long it had taken for them to even find out about the good things, but Jon couldn’t deny that he wanted to believe there were forces out there powerful enough to fight against the impossible.

,,,

As soon as Martin was sure that Melanie had gotten the evidence necessary to bring to the police, he took off, mumbling apologies to her. She just accepted it, probably assuming he was still shaken by his talk with Elias. Not to say that he wasn’t disturbed by it, but in the end, unlike Melanie, he’d only been told things that he’d already known. 

He raced to catch up with Jon, Tim, Daisy, and Basira. Even if it had been his idea to stay behind and help take down Elias, he felt as though that had been a mistake. He should be with them. He should be with Jon. 

Everything after he jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him felt like it passed in a blur. He ran down the street, and ended up where he needed to go. He paused, and looked around in confusion. He saw Daisy fighting the delivery men, Basira was just pacing back and forth while mumbling to herself, and Jon and Tim were on the floor, looking up at an unmoving mannequin. All four of them seemed thoroughly entranced by something. 

Even though his instincts told him to rush to Jon, it seemed like Daisy was in the most immediate danger, so even though he had no fighting skills that would be of any use, he ran over to her. He watched with wide eyes as she tore apart one of the men, apparently not held back at all by the fact that he was about three times her size. Then he saw the coffin and the other delivery man. “Daisy, look out!” 

She managed to avoid getting shoved, and then it seemed like she had a pretty solid handle on the remaining guy, so Martin watched for another few seconds, and then turned away. Basira seemed alright, but even from across the room Martin could see how frightened Jon looked, so he hurried over. 

When he saw the mannequin move out of the corner of his eye, Martin just ignored it. There were more important things to focus on at the moment. “Jon!” It didn’t seem like Jon could hear him, so as soon as Martin was close enough, he dropped to his knees and positioned himself in between Jon and everything else, blocking from view whatever was scaring Jon so much. He reached out to grab Jon’s hands, and found one of them clenched tightly around a button. Martin ignored that for the moment, and just focused on Jon. “Wherever you are right now, please come back. Maybe you already figured it out, but I should have told you this anyways- I need you.” 

He watched as Jon blinked a few times, and then furrowed his eyebrows. “Martin? What- when did you- Where did the music-?” Then he looked around the room. “This is…” He got to his feet, and looked at the mannequin. “What’s going on?” 

When Martin turned to look as well, he saw a sour look on the plastic face. “Aw, you just like to spoil my fun, don’t you, Archivist?” Then her gaze shifted to Martin despite her painted-on eyes not moving a single centimeter. “Now what do we have here? Another playmate? No, something about you is different. Who do you belong to?”

Jon’s fingers were still threaded through Martin’s as he took a step forward so that they were standing next to each other. “Martin doesn’t belong to anyone,” he snapped.

Nikola laughed, and though the noise was grating, it didn’t seem to sound all that unnatural to him. “Oh-ho-ho, that sounded like the protest of a man who wishes he was doing the owning! But you know that’s not what I meant, Archivist. Who is your master?”

Martin frowned. “Wouldn’t it be the Beholding?”

“No, no, you don’t stink of the Eye. I’m not quite sure…” 

Jon squeezed Martin’s hand a little bit tighter. “It doesn’t matter. We’re not going to let you win.”

For some reason, that seemed to make Nikola happy. “Ah, so the game is back on, then! And this time we’ve got an extra player!” She suddenly clapped her hands together, the sound of the colliding plastic ringing out through the otherwise quiet room, but nothing else happened. Martin looked around in confusion for a moment, and when he looked back at Nikola, he realized that she was confused too. “Now that is quite strange,” she told them in a cheerful voice, though it sounded more strained than before.

While she was busy trying to figure out whatever was wrong, Martin looked at Jon again. “Are you alright?”

There was a pause, and then Jon gave him a small smile. “Yeah. I think you must have saved me. I- I forgot who I was supposed to be, but then you pulled me back. Thank you.” He didn’t let go of Martin’s hand as he moved closer to Tim, just pulled Martin with him before he crouched down. Jon reached out to shake Tim’s shoulder. “Tim! Open your eyes! Whatever you’re seeing isn’t real!” 

Martin reached out to rest his hand on Tim’s other arm, while still holding Jon’s hand. “Tim, we need to get out of here.”

Martin was a bit startled when suddenly Tim was being scooped up and slung over a shoulder like a sack of grain. Daisy gave Martin and Jon a wide grin that looked like it would be more fitting on the face of a wild animal. “Basira’s already outside. Let’s go.” 

They raced past the creepy mannequins, but none of them gave chase, and then once they were out of the building, Jon used the detonator. Maybe they should have backed up some more, since they were all sent flying back by the force of the explosion, but nobody was hurt worse than a few scrapes from some debris. 

Tim finally seemed to return to full awareness, and then the five of them hurried to get away, since presumably someone would spot the fiery wreck and call the police. 

Basira got Tim and Daisy into the car they’d arrived in, and then she gave Martin a knowing look before letting him guide Jon into his car. The drive back went mostly in silence. At one point, Martin dared to let go of the wheel so that he could put his hand over Jon’s. Jon tensed up for a moment, but then relaxed back against the seat and didn’t stop looking out the window at the passing scenery. Despite everything else that had happened that day, Martin couldn’t help the giant smile that stretched across his face.

,,,

When they got back to the Institute, Melanie informed them that Elias had been arrested and had not been able to bribe his way out of it. Then they all decided to throw an impromptu ‘yay we survived’ party. 

Even as it got later and later, nobody seemed to want to be the first to leave, and Jon couldn’t blame any of them for that. They were all still reeling from what they’d been through, and it seemed best to stick with the only other people who could understand that.

The party did quiet down a bit, though, especially after Tim passed out drunk in a corner. Jon watched as Martin carefully shifted Tim into a position that would be less likely to hurt his back, and then draped a blanket over him. When Martin stood back up and headed to the table with the empty pizza boxes, Jon took another swig of beer to fortify himself, and then he made his way over there as well.

Jon cleared his throat, and Martin slowly turned to look at him. “Oh- uh- hey. Hello.” Then Martin pressed his lips together to stop himself from saying anything else.

Jon smiled, and even though he was still tired and afraid, he knew that it was a genuine smile on his face. “Everything back there happened so fast, I don’t remember if I ever properly thanked you. I mean, I’m pretty sure that if you hadn’t shown up when you did, at least some of us wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

Martin looked over at where Melanie was sprawled out on her chair, with her legs propped up on her desk as she animatedly waved her hands around. Martin let out what seemed to be an involuntary snort. “Clearly we’re not all standing right now.”

Jon rolled his eyes, but he didn’t try to hide his amusement. “Well, the point is- thank you.”

He thought that that seemed like a satisfactory place to end the conversation, but Martin reached out to gently grab his wrist to stop him from leaving. “Do you remember what Mimi said about the good things being stronger than the fears?”

Jon tilted his head as he nodded. “Yes…?”

Martin’s face slowly started turning pink, and he shifted his gaze so that he wasn’t looking Jon in the eyes. “The good things being Hope, Altruism, and- and Love. I think- I think that the reason I was able to help at all is because I- because I-” He stopped, and Jon just stared as he waited for Martin to finish his sentence. He got the feeling that it was something terribly important. Instead of saying anything else, though, Martin just ducked his head down to kiss Jon.

It felt like all other thoughts flew out of his head in that moment, and even though Jon had had very little practice with kissing in his life, he couldn’t help automatically returning it. When Martin finally pulled away, both of them were panting for breath. “Martin- you-”

Martin slid his hand from Jon’s wrist to his hand, but kept his grip loose enough that Jon could easily pull away if he wanted to. “Maybe this isn’t the best time to be doing this, but at this rate, it’s hard to believe that there are ever any good times for it. Jon, I- I love you.” He spoke so softly that surely nobody else in the room would be able to hear it, and Jon felt warmth rush through his entire body at the declaration.

Of course Jon had grown to care about Martin much more than when they’d first started working in the archives, but did that mean he loved him? “Martin, I don’t- that is to say-”

The look on Martin’s face was so fond that it should have been impossible. “That’s- I just wanted you to know, that’s all. I know that you don’t- I’m sorry for kissing you.”

He started to pull his hand away, clearly ready to make a retreat from the situation, but Jon found himself dropping his empty beer bottle so that he could grab both of Martin’s hands. There were a million things racing through his mind, but the first words to make it out of his mouth were, “Don’t go. I don’t know exactly how I feel right now, but I know that I don’t want you to go.”

For a moment he thought that Martin was going to take off anyways, but then he was nearly blinded with a brilliant grin. “I’m not going anywhere, Jon, I promise. And it’s alright if you don’t know how you feel yet. We’re both here, and we’re safe, and we have time, and that’s enough.”

Even as Martin said that, Jon started to feel like maybe he did know more than he’d thought. But he definitely couldn’t say those words out loud. There was no way he was ready for that. But as he looked into Martin’s eyes, he knew that Martin was right. What they had was enough, and Jon didn’t think he would ever need to hope for more. 

When he glanced back at the rest of the room, he saw Daisy and Basira cuddled in a little pile on the floor, Melanie’s chin was tucked against her chest as she let out little snores, and Tim was still completely out in his corner. Jon looked up at Martin again. “Want to get out of here?”

They slipped away from the party, though Martin insisted that they at least leave a note to let the others know that they were alright, and they drove to Jon’s flat. When they got there, Jon couldn’t help letting out a loud yawn, and Martin laughed. “We should probably get some rest.”

Somehow, without even needing to discuss it, they both ended up stripping down to their underclothes and then curled up together under the blankets on Jon’s bed. After the inhuman plastic monstrosities of the Stranger, it was nice to feel Martin’s skin, warm and soft, against his. Maybe Jon didn’t yet have the words to describe how he felt, but he did know that he was happy, for the first time in a very long time. 


End file.
